Don’t Believe the Coaching Industry… There is nothing wrong with you!

Becky Mollenkamp
3 min readMay 17, 2021

You are not broken. You are not a toy with missing parts, a fixer-upper house, or a clogged toilet.

As a life coach, people often tell me that they feel like something is wrong with them, that they need to mend their mindset, that they are broken and need to be fixed.

Unfortunately, I’m not surprised that they feel this way. In fact, why wouldn’t they? We are all inundated with messaging throughout our lives telling us all the things that are wrong with us and all the reasons we need to be fixed.

This is especially common at the New Year (“New Year, New You”), but it happens every single day.

We are told our wrinkles are bad, we need to wash away our gray hair, we need to lose weight, have a nicer car, enjoy every minute of parenting, have the job of our dreams, think nothing but happy thoughts….

While everyone receives these messages, they are more relentless and damaging for women, femmes, and thems (anyone “in the margins” of patriarchy).

Who benefits from you feeling broken? Certainly not you or those who love you. Capitalism (a pillar of patriarchy) means that many businesses (cosmetics, clothing, plastic surgeons, coaches and therapists, etc.) benefit from you feeling broken. And that ultimately benefits those at the top of the patriarchy ladder.

Here’s the truth, friend. There is nothing wrong with you if you …

  • Don’t want to be a millionaire (or if you do).
  • Don’t want to be your own boss (or if you do).
  • Are really fucking tired and want to do less.
  • Eat what you want because it tastes good.
  • Cry. A lot.
  • Wanted to be a parent and now hate it sometimes.
  • Can’t shut off your brain.
  • Are perfectly happy alone (or if you really want a partner).

There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with you. You are inherently amazing, powerful, worthy. Just because you don’t get that message all the time doesn’t make it untrue. It is true. Believe it, receive it, let it wash over you:

Becky Mollenkamp

Accountability coach for feminist founders.